The day started with a bang. The girls clamored for their breakfast. Between the four of them there are about 15 requests.
As I finished up kitchen duties and moved to put the baby down for a nap I was immediately met by my four year old who wanted to play on the computer. I knew this was a good activity for her while I taught my two older girls. So, I said, "Let me get the big girls started on their work, you dressed and then mommy will put you on the computer."
Teaching my first grader is at best a challenge. I have to bring my "A" game ready for lessons. On this particular day I was overly tired, due to a teething baby and interrupted sleep the night before. As we were making some headway, my oldest burst into the room in tears. She didn't understand what she is reading and was having a meltdown. I sent her to room to finish her emotional breakdown.
Next, I fed the baby who had been crying for about 30 minutes. At this point, it was lunch time for the rest of us. Lunch, like breakfast had about 15 requests. While I was moving the baby to her play seat I realized she was dirty and needed to be changed.
After I changed her she spit up all down the front of me. I cleaned myself up and decided once again to put her in the play seat. As I was dong this, the sisters overwhelmed us to 'love' on her, which really means "hang on me."
This was the tipping point......I lost it verbally, tired, hungry, and overwhelmed by the needs of so many.
I admit, it wasn't pretty. And after placing the baby gently in the play seat I quickly gave myself a much needed time out. Sitting alone in my guest bedroom I had a long talk with the Lord. I cried out to Him. I asked for forgiveness. I told Him I could not do it without Him. I decided that even though I would really like to stay in that bedroom alone for the rest of the day, I needed to check on the kids.
When I returned to the kitchen my lunch had been made by my oldest.
3 of the girls were playing sweetly together.
The air was clear.
I was forgiven.
It was 12:52 pm.
Some days are just like that. It seems like everything goes wrong. And I blow it big time. But, in those moments I am so thankful by this verse:
There is therefore now no condemnation for those that are in Christ Jesus.
I have been studying Romans 8 and this truth has truly captivated me. He does not condemn me. In fact later in Romans 8 it says He is for me. And nothing can ever separate me from that love. Even me at the tipping point.